Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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