don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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