With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
