Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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