So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
