Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the liver wants what the liver wants
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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