i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
