All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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