I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
