that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
