Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
