Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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