this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
