would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's official drugs can't kill me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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