Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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