Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Even my vagina gasped.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She needs sedatives and a leash
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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