the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
