the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
