Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
