I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
