Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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