You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
