dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
