I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
