Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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