Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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