Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
