My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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