well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
