my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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