Can Purell be used as lube?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
