Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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