Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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