Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the day after is always just damage control
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
