How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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