she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
