He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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