she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
