new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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