Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
