i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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