u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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