Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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