JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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