I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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