Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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