Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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