Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
