If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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