You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
